Friday, April 13, 2007

Flamed By Celko?

I found this funny pic of the man who gave us newsgroup gems like this for example: ">> Any suggestion is greatly appreciated. <<

EVERYTHING you are doing is TOTALLY wrong. You have just been cussed
out by one of the people who wrote this language. If you have brain
instead of an ego, you might want to listen.

This is a (bad) COBOL program written in SQL! There is so much
formatting done in SQL code! The bad news -- for me-- is that this
code is so awful I cannot use it in my next book as a bad example
because it is too proprietary! You could be famous!

Your code is so awful, you even use the "tbl-" prefixes to tell us you
have no idea about RDBMS! You keep converting dates to strings because
you are writing COBOL in SQL and want strings!

Why do your have "CREATE TABLE #tmp_sched" when view would work?
Answer: because magnetic tape files have to be materialized

Why do you spit on ISO-11179 rules and use a "tbl-" prefix? Because
you know only BASIC programming, which needs the prefixes for the one
pass compiler.

You write SQL with flags like it was 1950's Assembly language! Flags
in SQL!! Ghod Damn!! Varying length identifiers!? And I loved the way
spit on ANSI/ISO Standards with "SET QUOTED_IDENTIFIER OFF", etc.?

You need help you cannot get on a newsgroup.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

COBOL would explain many things I sensed but couldn't describe.